Ready or not, we are expecting number 3. When we reached the point of having one boy and one girl, we determined that having another child wouldn't be a huge adjustment...or would it? Yes, we have all of the clothes and all of the stuff; the swings, cribs, pack-n-plays etc. What could we need? Oh well, did we consider that we would need a larger car/ truck or the dreaded mini van? Did we realized that we would still have one child requiring a crib and high chair when number 3 is born? The infant seat is expired and I will now need a double stroller. Luckily we have several months to gather these items. Potty training while simultaneously nursing a baby...also a challenge that I equally fear and look forward to. The only reason a sane person would look forward to that is that they are really looking forward to meeting their new baby and watching their other baby grow. Being a mother is the most amazing experience. Everything that goes into growing the baby, the Dr. appointments, prenatal vitamins, morning sickness, hormones and physical changes. Delivery- WOW! I have had the honor of experiencing a c-section and a vbac. Each mother has their own birth story for each child. Every story is precious. Some women feel very differently than I do about having a surprise c-section. I did not know that my baby was breech so when my water broke I casually got showered and made my way to the hospital. An ultra sound quickly made it clear that I would be in need of a c-section. That was not my plan at all but as soon as I was told I would be having a c-section, I said, "Okay, let's go." They baby was not due for another 3.5 weeks. My strep test hadn't been done so the Dr. ordered me Penicillin. While the OR was being prepared for me I was given the Penicillin. I found out that I was allergic to it (as are my mom, two sisters and nephew- quite freakish I know). I had an immediate reaction and was quickly given Benedryl. As soon as the itching stopped the contractions started, hard and fast....quickly I had very little time between them seconds maybe, front and then back and on and on. The nurse told me to relax, to which I looked at her and said, "I am afraid to relax because I feel like if I do this baby is coming and I didn't get this far to have my baby's head get stuck and die." She quickly checked me and then took off out of the room. Moments later they were there with a wheel chair and soon I was sitting on the operating table getting my epidural. Apparently the Dr. didn't feel like delivering a breech 8lb baby that morning. Some woman explain their feelings of their c-section as "having their baby ripped from them". I don't feel like that at all. I feel that we got my son into this world the safest way possible. I am grateful for the experience, my very own unique experience resulting in a very healthy baby boy who is as unique and perfect as a mother could ever dream of. My vbac story was more scary because I had the choice. I did the research, I knew the statistics, I went to the best hospital in the world and spoke to a Dr. there about my concerns. I was afraid of choosing wrong. I put myself in the hands of top notch Dr.'s, nurses, specialist...a hospital that can honestly handle anything you throw at them. I wanted my baby to be born in the best possible situation. That is what we do. Three weeks before my due date we were on our way to the hospital. A few short hours later I pushed out a perfect little girl. I am very happy that I have both experiences.
As we raise our children, step by step, day by day. We watch our little miracles grow up into their own little self. So, it doesn't matter that I feel sick, or that we need to go buy a new car and all of that stuff. What matters is that I make good choices that will ultimately result in a healthy perfect little baby that I will watch grow into who they are suppose to be.
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Extreme Couponing lesson learned
I worked very hard to match my coupons with sales and had my sales flyers with the items for price matches circled. There I was at Walmart, my shopping complete. Three hours of price checking, comparing one ad against another, making sure that I hadn't missed a beat. My cart was filled beyond capacity. It is nearly midnight, I am exhausted and anxious. Had all of my work been worth the effort. My anxiety builds as I near the register. I get to the only register with a light on. I am greeted by the cashier, "Hurry up- It's shift change at midnight." I tell her I have price matches and coupons and that perhaps I should just wait. She is hurreling my items across the scanner and she snaps at me. "No, hurry & we'll get you through!" Oh my, how unpleasant. I am doing my best to keep up with her and load all of the bagged items into a seperate cart. By the time she is done she barks out my total, there are two other employees standing there with her. I hand her my coupons and remind her that I also have price matches. "Well, you should have told me that- we need to do those first." Then they are going through my coupons. "Next time put your Target coupons with your items also, we need them first, Target doesn't give us money for these." So I did not get my price matches and therefore I got out of there only saving $9.00. I was unhappy. I sat in my car replaying what just happened. The next morning Kevin asks me how it went. I told him what happened and he wasn't very happy with the situation either. I am letting you all know this so that those of you who are going to give this a try will not have to endure this kind of scolding. Now I need to figure out a strategy to load my cart with price match items at the top or seperate cart, or even a seperate trip. Some people may be discouraged by this negative outcome. I am letting it fuel my fire. I am going to save money, they advertise that they will do price matching so, guess what, next time I will be prepared and they will price match and take every coupon I can find. Watch out cranky cashier, I will be back, I will be ready for you...will you be ready for me? This is going to be a better experience next week.
Monday, August 13, 2012
50 Shades of Grey and a bit of extreme couponing
I couldn't take it any more. Everyone is talking about "50 Shades of Grey". I bought the first book. Oh my is it ever naughty. I finished the first one and found myself totally obsessed with finding out what happens next. Yep- I too found myself unable to leave the store without book number 2 "50 Shades Darker". I was sort of...no, I was very embarassed to be buying the second one. Just tucked it under the fruit snacks at the bottom of my cart. Is it legal for this to be sold at Walmart? I have a million things to do and yet I need to know what will happen with Anastasia and Christian.
The coupon binder is nearly complete. I purchased a 3 ring binder that has a zipper so all of my goodies don't fall out. I purchased tab pages to keep the coupons in order by isle at the grocery store. I purchased baseball card organizer pages and have placed most of the coupons in their places. I have store flyers tucked away for price matches at Walmart. I have a pocket for my scissors and pen. I even put my notebook in there so that my shopping list would be sure to make it to the store with me.- I have cut coupons from 6 Sunday papers and the Target website. I would have had more from the Red Plum and Smart Source websites however I ran out of ink in my printer. I have one concern- how much money did I just spend to save money more efficiently? I spent $34.08. We shall see what I save.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Stay at home mom wants income.
I love to be home with my kids. I have been a stay at home mom for over a year now and I really do like it. It has been a very hard transition for me, I am still not comfortable with having no money of my very own. So, I have done a lot of thinking, reading and talking to people about ways a stay at home mom can make some money.
First, I decided to take a couple of kids one day a week. The kids are very close in age to my kids and they are very good. So, not only do I make a little money of my own, but it also gives my kids something to look forward to.
The second thing I do is I work very part time at a local ski & snowboard resort. I have to work around my husbands crazy work schedule. He works very long hours in the Spring and Fall. So it works well for me to work evenings and weekends in the Winter and Summer. It may seem obvious that in the winter a ski & snowboard resort would be busy, but summer? Yes, we cater weddings and other events. It has turned out to be an excellent fit for our simple life.
Third, I have been making a few items to sell at craft fairs, etsy and have a website in the works. I have been making baby shoes, play blankets, tutu's and bags. I just recently partnered up with a local embroidery shop so that I can offer custom embroidery on my bags. Sweet huh? I purchased a business name. I will be doing business under the name "B.H. Grace Designs". I am nervous and yet oh so excited to get this company off the ground.
Fourth- Who knew? My husband had me order some books. I have read through the small Extreme Coupons, and Free Stuff books. After reading them, I ran to the gas station and bought 4 Sunday papers. I clipped coupons until I fell asleep covered in news papers. I went to Target.com and started printing out their coupons and then I ran out of ink. Ofcourse I ran out of ink. This is the kind of stumbling block that I have come to expect. Everytime I get all excited about something and I take off like a motived runner- I always get tripped up by something. It may have made me slow down this time, but I will buy more ink today. I am even thinking about making myself the three ring binder with baseball card holders organizer for the coupons. That would be so smart. As a result of reading those books I have also signed up to get paid for taking surveys. We shall see how it goes.
It may seem like a lot of effort to make a few dollars. To me, having my own money gives me some feeling of independence and self worth. I am a grown woman and I don't want to have to ask my husband for money.
First, I decided to take a couple of kids one day a week. The kids are very close in age to my kids and they are very good. So, not only do I make a little money of my own, but it also gives my kids something to look forward to.
The second thing I do is I work very part time at a local ski & snowboard resort. I have to work around my husbands crazy work schedule. He works very long hours in the Spring and Fall. So it works well for me to work evenings and weekends in the Winter and Summer. It may seem obvious that in the winter a ski & snowboard resort would be busy, but summer? Yes, we cater weddings and other events. It has turned out to be an excellent fit for our simple life.
Third, I have been making a few items to sell at craft fairs, etsy and have a website in the works. I have been making baby shoes, play blankets, tutu's and bags. I just recently partnered up with a local embroidery shop so that I can offer custom embroidery on my bags. Sweet huh? I purchased a business name. I will be doing business under the name "B.H. Grace Designs". I am nervous and yet oh so excited to get this company off the ground.
Fourth- Who knew? My husband had me order some books. I have read through the small Extreme Coupons, and Free Stuff books. After reading them, I ran to the gas station and bought 4 Sunday papers. I clipped coupons until I fell asleep covered in news papers. I went to Target.com and started printing out their coupons and then I ran out of ink. Ofcourse I ran out of ink. This is the kind of stumbling block that I have come to expect. Everytime I get all excited about something and I take off like a motived runner- I always get tripped up by something. It may have made me slow down this time, but I will buy more ink today. I am even thinking about making myself the three ring binder with baseball card holders organizer for the coupons. That would be so smart. As a result of reading those books I have also signed up to get paid for taking surveys. We shall see how it goes.
It may seem like a lot of effort to make a few dollars. To me, having my own money gives me some feeling of independence and self worth. I am a grown woman and I don't want to have to ask my husband for money.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Butternut squash soup
What's for supper?/ Freeze ahead Butternut squash soup
I made butternut squash soup for the first time. I don't like squash, but I thought I should gets some Vitamin A into my diet. I used Alton Browns Squash Soup recipe from foodnetwork.com. I wish I had a stick blender. That would have been really handy. I used a small blender and had to do my blending a little bit at a time. I was the only member of my family willing to taste it. I thought it was pretty good, but what do I know, I have never had butternut squash soup before. I took some to a friend who said it was the best she had ever had. I froze a couple cups to eat another time. The recipe is as follows:
3 to 3 1/2 pounds butternut squash, approximately 2, seeded and quartered
Unsalted butter, melted, for brushing
1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus 1 teaspoon
1 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper, plus 1,2 teaspoon
3 cups chicken or vegetable broth
1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
Directions
Heat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Place the quartered squash onto a half sheet pan, brush the flesh of the squash with a little butter and season with 1 tablespoon of the salt and 1 teaspoon of the white pepper. Place in the oven and roast for 30 to 35 minutes or until the flesh is soft and tender.
Scoop the flesh from the skin into a 6-quart pot. Add the broth, honey and ginger. Place over medium heat and bring to a simmer, approximately 7 to 8 minutes. Using a stick blender, puree the mixture until smooth*. Stir in the heavy cream and return to a low simmer. Season with the remaining salt, pepper and nutmeg.
*When blending hot liquids: Revove liquid from the heat and allow to cool for at least 5 minutes. Transfer liquid to a blender or food processor and fill it no more than halfway. If using a blender, release on corner of the lid. This prevents the vacuum effects that creates heat explosions. Place a towel over the top of the machine, pulse a few times then process on high speed until smooth.
Tonight we are having meatball subs. The meatballs were left over from Superbowl Sunday. I froze them in a ziplock container hoping for a quick yummy meal another night. Looks like tonight is that night.
I made butternut squash soup for the first time. I don't like squash, but I thought I should gets some Vitamin A into my diet. I used Alton Browns Squash Soup recipe from foodnetwork.com. I wish I had a stick blender. That would have been really handy. I used a small blender and had to do my blending a little bit at a time. I was the only member of my family willing to taste it. I thought it was pretty good, but what do I know, I have never had butternut squash soup before. I took some to a friend who said it was the best she had ever had. I froze a couple cups to eat another time. The recipe is as follows:
3 to 3 1/2 pounds butternut squash, approximately 2, seeded and quartered
Unsalted butter, melted, for brushing
1 tablespoon kosher salt, plus 1 teaspoon
1 teaspoon freshly ground white pepper, plus 1,2 teaspoon
3 cups chicken or vegetable broth
1/4 cup honey
1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon freshly grated nutmeg
Directions
Heat the oven to 400 degrees F.
Place the quartered squash onto a half sheet pan, brush the flesh of the squash with a little butter and season with 1 tablespoon of the salt and 1 teaspoon of the white pepper. Place in the oven and roast for 30 to 35 minutes or until the flesh is soft and tender.
Scoop the flesh from the skin into a 6-quart pot. Add the broth, honey and ginger. Place over medium heat and bring to a simmer, approximately 7 to 8 minutes. Using a stick blender, puree the mixture until smooth*. Stir in the heavy cream and return to a low simmer. Season with the remaining salt, pepper and nutmeg.
*When blending hot liquids: Revove liquid from the heat and allow to cool for at least 5 minutes. Transfer liquid to a blender or food processor and fill it no more than halfway. If using a blender, release on corner of the lid. This prevents the vacuum effects that creates heat explosions. Place a towel over the top of the machine, pulse a few times then process on high speed until smooth.
Tonight we are having meatball subs. The meatballs were left over from Superbowl Sunday. I froze them in a ziplock container hoping for a quick yummy meal another night. Looks like tonight is that night.
Monday, February 13, 2012
Chicken Pot Pie Review
Tonight I made Ina Garten's Chicken pot pie. I found the recipe on Food Network.com. It was wonderful. I modified the recipe a little bit. I did one onion and one potato. I skipped the small onions and only did one cup of peas. My son, husband and I all give this recipe 5 stars. Yummy! My son asked if I would make it again on Sunday. If you are like me, good meal ideas but not so good planning... you will want bake and cube your chicken and cut up your veggies and prepare your dough ahead of time if possible. There is 35 min. to bake your chicken, dough needs to be refridgerated for 30 minutes and then 1 hour to bake the pies.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Vitamin A & my "What's for dinner" super save
Vitamin A is a fat soluble vitamin. It is made up of both preformed vitamin A (retinoids) and provitamin A (carotenoids). Retinoids are found in animal foods such as fish oil, eggs and butter. Carotenoids are found in plants such as deep yellow and orange veggies such as carrots and sweet potatoes. These veggies contain beta carotene which can be converted into Vitamin A in the body. This is a vitamin that needs to be consumed with caution. A deficiency could cause night blindness or Xerophthalmia. Toxic levels of Vitamin A in the body are usually found in individuals who are taking supplements rather than eatting large quantites of foods rich in Vitamin A or beta carotene. Vitamin A is essential for healthy epithelial cells and vision.
There is a lot of information on Vitamins- this is just a quick snap shot. If you have specific questions about Vitamin A- let's chat. I like to research specific topics so give me an assignment.
Okay- last night was suppose to be Paula Deans Chicken pot pie. As I was getting out all of my ingredients I realized that I had no raw eggs in the house. I had hard boiled all of them on Sunday- well, all but two of them but someone (Kevin) didn't know that the two eggs in the butter compartment of the refridgerator were raw and all of them in the egg compartment were hard boiled. So, I went to peal one for a salad and - you guessed it! It was raw. Kevin had moved the raw eggs to the egg compartment- no telling which was which. So, it is well beyond supper time by now and no pot pies...crying baby...husband shows up over an hour late (what's the big deal?) 5 year old needs a shower.... I have chicken breasts in the microwave. I chopped a yellow onion, heated olive oil in a pan, carmelized the onion, threw in some garlic and mushrooms. Three strips of bacon went onto a broiler pan and tossed into a 425 degree oven. Got the water on the stove. Time to get the 5 year old out of the shower and the baby into the highchair. Put the chicken breasts on the George Foreman, dumped some rotini into the boiling water. Gave the baby a few measuring cups and a couple bits of baby food. Microwaved some pizza sauce. Gave the baby a couple more bits. Grabbed some shredded cheese and parmasean cheese. Now for the fun... I have no clue what I have just made here. How am I going to put this together? So I just started layering, noodles, cheese, sauce, chicken, onion & mushrooms, bacon & more cheese. My picky 5 year old said it was the best tasting meal ever. Everyone was happy. I will get to the grocery store tonight or tomorrow and get some eggs so I can report to you about Paula Dean's pot pie.
Check back again tomorrow when I will reveal my next sewing project attempt, will it be wedding purses, an everyday purse for me or a quilt?
There is a lot of information on Vitamins- this is just a quick snap shot. If you have specific questions about Vitamin A- let's chat. I like to research specific topics so give me an assignment.
Okay- last night was suppose to be Paula Deans Chicken pot pie. As I was getting out all of my ingredients I realized that I had no raw eggs in the house. I had hard boiled all of them on Sunday- well, all but two of them but someone (Kevin) didn't know that the two eggs in the butter compartment of the refridgerator were raw and all of them in the egg compartment were hard boiled. So, I went to peal one for a salad and - you guessed it! It was raw. Kevin had moved the raw eggs to the egg compartment- no telling which was which. So, it is well beyond supper time by now and no pot pies...crying baby...husband shows up over an hour late (what's the big deal?) 5 year old needs a shower.... I have chicken breasts in the microwave. I chopped a yellow onion, heated olive oil in a pan, carmelized the onion, threw in some garlic and mushrooms. Three strips of bacon went onto a broiler pan and tossed into a 425 degree oven. Got the water on the stove. Time to get the 5 year old out of the shower and the baby into the highchair. Put the chicken breasts on the George Foreman, dumped some rotini into the boiling water. Gave the baby a few measuring cups and a couple bits of baby food. Microwaved some pizza sauce. Gave the baby a couple more bits. Grabbed some shredded cheese and parmasean cheese. Now for the fun... I have no clue what I have just made here. How am I going to put this together? So I just started layering, noodles, cheese, sauce, chicken, onion & mushrooms, bacon & more cheese. My picky 5 year old said it was the best tasting meal ever. Everyone was happy. I will get to the grocery store tonight or tomorrow and get some eggs so I can report to you about Paula Dean's pot pie.
Check back again tomorrow when I will reveal my next sewing project attempt, will it be wedding purses, an everyday purse for me or a quilt?
Friday, February 10, 2012
Back to blogging
It is time to start blogging for real. A lot has changed in our family since I have last blogged so here we go. In July 2011 we welcomed Hannah into our family. In October 2011 we moved to the country. We are now a larger family with a larger home and a much larger yard to run and play. I am happy to report that I have a sewing room in this house which is something that I have been wanting for awhile.
Now that the dust has settled from the move and I am a stay at home mom, I have decided that it is time to get started creating. I feel it is what I need to do. My blogs will be more regular and will consist of the following:
Hot Topics for those who want to chat.
Nutrition topics- vitamins and minerals- the basics
Food- What's for dinner (literally) and freezeable meals (by request)
God- as the Spirit moves me.
Product reviews (because I REALLY want to try stuff out & chat about it)
Sewing and crafts (I will include you in my crafting journeys- it will be a real trip!)
Parenting (at this time it will mostly be "Conversations with Cole" which are always interesting)
Diet & Exercise (I do this sometimes)
Check in with me tomorrow for a full review of Vitamin A and my review on What's for dinner tonight which will also drive the hot topic. Dinner tonight is Chicken Pot Pie Paula Dean style.
Now that the dust has settled from the move and I am a stay at home mom, I have decided that it is time to get started creating. I feel it is what I need to do. My blogs will be more regular and will consist of the following:
Hot Topics for those who want to chat.
Nutrition topics- vitamins and minerals- the basics
Food- What's for dinner (literally) and freezeable meals (by request)
God- as the Spirit moves me.
Product reviews (because I REALLY want to try stuff out & chat about it)
Sewing and crafts (I will include you in my crafting journeys- it will be a real trip!)
Parenting (at this time it will mostly be "Conversations with Cole" which are always interesting)
Diet & Exercise (I do this sometimes)
Check in with me tomorrow for a full review of Vitamin A and my review on What's for dinner tonight which will also drive the hot topic. Dinner tonight is Chicken Pot Pie Paula Dean style.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Little Cowboy
There were so many very cute little trick-or-treaters out this year. We participated a lot more this year than last. How much candy does a little boy need?
Halloween 2008
I did not get very many pictures. Cole got sick of pumpkin carving and decided that trying to undress was much more fun. I had no idea what he was doing because I was so focused on the pumpkin and its 3" thick walls! It took my almost an hour to carve a very unoriginal jack-o-lantern.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
My emotional dumping ground
No more please!
Today I went down to say good bye to my grandpa. Death is very strange to me. I have been preparing myself for my grandpa to die for a long time. The last few years have not been his best. My grandpa and I were never close, but there is a bond- a natural bond between grandparents and their grandchildren. All my life I loved and respected my grandparents. When my grandma died I was in 6th grade. It was really hard for me. For years I thought I had killed her. I remembered praying to God that if he could not make her better, please let her die and go to heaven. She did. Years later I realized I hadn't killed her, I hadn't been the only one saying that same prayer. I didn't kill her. . . I loved her and I didn't like seeing her suffer.
Today I said the same prayer for my grandpa. As an adult it was easy to say the prayer because my faith is stronger. My understanding of death and suffering is not good. I had been told what my grandpas condition was- well in a very Thorland sort of way- I was told. I got the jist of it, and I was ready for it. He was in so much pain, what could we do? What could anyone do? Can we do anything? Do we just sit here and do nothing? So we talked to him and prayed for him and filled the room up with people who love him. The doctor and nurses were very calm and kind and luckily they knew the drill. They were honest, helpful and caring. The hospice house was really a nice place. I told him that I love him, that I appreciate all that he has given me and taught me. That he has brought a great group of people into this world. He asked that we teach our boys to pray and I told him we would. I told him that I hope I make him proud. I said good bye to my grandpa tonight and I walked away. I spent the day looking at him, watching him struggle. I could not help him. It was time for me to leave, so I walked away. It was not easy to walk away.
As I crossed over the bridge and entered Wanamingo, my grandpa crossed over from his life here on earth and entered his home in heaven. I know he is well again and he will be home with his mom and dad, his first wife and their first three babies, his brother and numbers of others who have meant so much to him and our family who have gone before us. What brings us such sorrow here on earth brings such a celebration for his home coming in heaven. Congratulations grandpa, you are home. We will surely miss you until we meet again. We Love you.
Today I went down to say good bye to my grandpa. Death is very strange to me. I have been preparing myself for my grandpa to die for a long time. The last few years have not been his best. My grandpa and I were never close, but there is a bond- a natural bond between grandparents and their grandchildren. All my life I loved and respected my grandparents. When my grandma died I was in 6th grade. It was really hard for me. For years I thought I had killed her. I remembered praying to God that if he could not make her better, please let her die and go to heaven. She did. Years later I realized I hadn't killed her, I hadn't been the only one saying that same prayer. I didn't kill her. . . I loved her and I didn't like seeing her suffer.
Today I said the same prayer for my grandpa. As an adult it was easy to say the prayer because my faith is stronger. My understanding of death and suffering is not good. I had been told what my grandpas condition was- well in a very Thorland sort of way- I was told. I got the jist of it, and I was ready for it. He was in so much pain, what could we do? What could anyone do? Can we do anything? Do we just sit here and do nothing? So we talked to him and prayed for him and filled the room up with people who love him. The doctor and nurses were very calm and kind and luckily they knew the drill. They were honest, helpful and caring. The hospice house was really a nice place. I told him that I love him, that I appreciate all that he has given me and taught me. That he has brought a great group of people into this world. He asked that we teach our boys to pray and I told him we would. I told him that I hope I make him proud. I said good bye to my grandpa tonight and I walked away. I spent the day looking at him, watching him struggle. I could not help him. It was time for me to leave, so I walked away. It was not easy to walk away.
As I crossed over the bridge and entered Wanamingo, my grandpa crossed over from his life here on earth and entered his home in heaven. I know he is well again and he will be home with his mom and dad, his first wife and their first three babies, his brother and numbers of others who have meant so much to him and our family who have gone before us. What brings us such sorrow here on earth brings such a celebration for his home coming in heaven. Congratulations grandpa, you are home. We will surely miss you until we meet again. We Love you.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The days go by. . .
On Sunday we went to the Power show at the Old Log Pioneer Village. Cole really likes tractors. This was his "little boy heaven".
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Heavy heart
Maybe it is the full moon, maybe not. My heart is heavier today than it has been in a long time. It gets that way from time to time when heavy things happen so fast you don't have time to dump them. Two weeks ago a friend of mine died. I had stopped by his house to tell him and his wife my great news. Kevin and I are engaged. He would have loved to have heard that. I was very excited to tell him, he always asked me if Kevin had asked me yet. . .then he sort of did. . .that is another story for another time. . . When I arrived at their house- it was dark, the door was closed but not locked, the house was empty except for one thing was not missing that should have been missing if everything had been fine. . .the wheelchair. It had only been a short time before I had arrived that they took him to the hospital. There he died less then a week later. I attended his funeral. I was not at peace because I hadn't said what I needed to. I did not know if they were aware how much they mean to me. It was boldly obvious how they felt about me. I was recognized in writting in the funeral paper. (I have no idea what it is called). I was right there with all of the closest people. I was on there with family. I hope that I was as good to him as he was to me.
Last Saturday we nearly lost my nefew. No amount of love can keep a child safe at all times. Only by God's will was that child saved. While his life was being rescued by an angle of God, the rest of us were requesting God's presence inside. We had no idea what was happing outside, we did not hear the screams for help, we did not hear the baby crying, kicking water, gasping for air. .. we did not hear what was happening beyond the walls) we were reaching deep within ourselves deep in our hearts asking the Lord to be with my mom, to bring us a miracle. Could God bring a miracle that night, could he make my mom well again, could he keep her safe during her surgery, could he cure her, make her regain her muscles so that she could walk, get down on the floor and play with her grand children, go golfing with her husband, go shopping with her girls. . .do everything again. . .even laundry. There we all were, family and friends united, praying prayers of healing and asking for a miracle.
She never complains, she never says anything. . .she asks for a miracle, she believes in them. . .if we didn't before Saturday night, all of us that were there surly believe in them now. A limp lifeless body was dragged out of a pond, as soon as he was brought to shore he started coughing out the pond that had nearly killed him. Grandmother and grandson: two hearts, two spirits wound together so tight it is amazing. Both so tender, so pure- a grandmother who has raised three girls (who were openly admit they each posed their own unique challenges to their parents), and lived through other life challenges that might harden some people. . .not her, not my mom, nope. . . like water off a ducks back. You can't break her, you can't change her, she wears a very protective armor of Faith which in itself is proof that there is a God, a loving God. You can't know her and not believe it, when she tells her story, it changes people. It is like the purity of a childs heart. Carefree, unscared, fearless and resilient. That baby went home with a mother who loves him to pieces, he slept well- nobody else did. . .just the babies. A near death experience. . . like water off a ducks back.
Mom goes for surgery tomorrow. . .and I am having anxiety. She hardly mentions it, she doesn't seem to be nervous. Me I am crying like a baby here. I am nervous, how will she be treated, how will the surgery go, how much pain will she have, will she really heal in a week. What happens if they send her home and she isn't healed, we aren't ready for that.
I feel selfish, looking back at all of the preparation I could have done just in case- for mom and dad. The visits to friends, the words that need to be spoken, the unfinished business that never gets really finished. The baby I could spend more time with, could have stolen a few more hugs, paid more attention to.
Tonight my heart is heavy. I am glad that I can have a heavy heart. I have people to love and people who love me. Sometimes we have to carry a heavy heart, but only for a short time.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Monday-Monday
Another Monday. We had a nice rainy weekend at home. I got a few naps in, that never happens! Cole and Kevin were both sick with colds, so we sort of just hung out. My old neighbor stopped by with her daughter. I t was nice to see them. I wish they still lived next door. We went to Shannon's grad. party. I used to babysit Shannon and her two sisters and one of her brothers. Her older sister just recently got married and had a baby. I feel really stinkin' bummed out. It started with one grey hair a few weeks ago, now this. Hummm!
Kevin's birthday is Thursday- June 12th. Yep, he will still be older than me- sorry sweetie!
Coles vocabulary is growing rapidly! There isn't much he won't copy if he wants to. He is certianly showing signs of a wicked temper and boy is he stubborn, but sweet too. Those big blue eyes just melt me, and those darn cheeks are so pudgy and kissable. I just grab him and hug him and kiss him whenever I feel like it- now he trys to get away from me. I fear my baby may be turning the corner into little boyhood. He understands and may even follow some comands, "like take that to daddy" or "pick out a book". It is so cute.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
I love Saturday
Cole dressed up like a cowboy for his pictures. He was a very serious cowboy. No messing around!
New Pics Finally
Cole visited the Flom dairy farm where he met his first dairy cows and learned to say moo. He is 15 months old now. He says a lot of words now, I guess it is time for us to watch what we say.
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